It's A Man Eat Dog World

Koreans claim that dog has great medicinal properties and tastes great too - sort of like beef, but gamy. But they don't just eat any dog. They prefer the dog with the yellow hair, or something that looks pretty much like a German Shepherd. My brother's family occasionally eats dog, and he took me to a dog farm and explained the procedure for scoring dog. First, you choose the dog that you want to eat. Then he's hit in the head with a baseball bat, his fur is burned off with a blow torch and he's cut into steaks. Did I mention that they feel that the dog who's only eaten shit his whole life is the tastiest? So they only feed the dogs shit their whole lives, although I'm not sure whose shit they're fed.
I guess if I was locked in a cage for a long time and only given shit to eat, sooner or later, I'd be eating shit too.

Making you hungry? Yes, killing a dog for your dinner is illegal, but that doesn't mean you can't scrape food off your local streets and highways. All you'll need for street hunting is a large garbage bag and some rubber gloves. Look for a fresh kill - the blood should be uncoagulated with no flies present. A stew or dog street pizza is your best bet, since you'll probably be working with chunks instead of steaks. Korean dogs are probably a little better tasting than Michigan dogs, but I've never seen a dog who didn't enjoy eating an occasional pile of shit, and hopefully your score has eaten a lot. Happy hunting!

Bo Shin Tong Chie'ge
(Dog meat stew)

1 lb. fresh dog road kill
1 TB oil
5 potatoes
1 large onion
10 cloves garlic
3 carrots
8 cups stock
1/4 cup Korean red pepper flakes
salt and pepper to taste

Remove fur, skin and as much filthy residue as possible, then brown meat in oil. Add chopped vegetables, stock and seasoning. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 1 hour. Enjoy!